cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Randomize
