Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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