Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
