bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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