Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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