i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
