So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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