It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
