He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
