You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Of course I have a pirate flag
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
