why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I need a beard to bite.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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