a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
