i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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