We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize