there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
