I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize