I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My vagina is officially offended.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It all started with a game of naked twister.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize