omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
grandma shit on top of the toilet
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
