Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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