That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
