You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
