eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
