just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm too high and old for this...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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