i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
