Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
