I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
