she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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