Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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