Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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