he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Your penis caused this!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
