how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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