why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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