we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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