I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize