No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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