We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
