Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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