cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
