I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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