She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize