You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Im part way to drunk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
