Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
