I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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