He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
