nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
