She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
