I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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