That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
