What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
