You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
