What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
