if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
