My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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