I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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