If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
