Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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