Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Drake has all the answers
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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