My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize