No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
