Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
