Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
