I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Less talking, more tequila
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
