Don't make out with my wife yet
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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