Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it's great music for shaving your balls
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
