My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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