I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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