:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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