i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
