So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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