your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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