I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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