love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
