last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just threw up on my dentist
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
