It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
